Monthly Musing: On Intention...

I’ve been thinking about two words we use often, sometimes interchangeably… intention and motivation.

Intention feels like direction - what we hope will happen. Motivation feels like energy - what is driving us in the moment. The distinction between the two has felt increasingly important to me, particularly in the context of behaviour.

In training a few years ago, I described behaviour as what someone does to make something happen, to make something change, or to keep things the same. Behaviour is a response - to thoughts and feelings internally, and to the environment externally. Observing behaviour is the easy part. Understanding why someone does what they do is more complex.

In sessions, I often ask, “What was your - or their - intention and motivation for doing that?” Not to excuse what happened, but to understand what purpose the behaviour was serving. Behaviour communicates. It functions. It meets a need - sometimes effectively, sometimes awkwardly. When we sit with the question for long enough, the answers are rarely dramatic. More often, they are disarmingly honest - to get my own back, to try and fit in, to feel in control, to make them feel like I did, to protect myself.

When children are able to separate intention from motivation, something steadies. Behaviour becomes information rather than identity. It tells us something about the moment, not the whole person. Naming the motivation does not remove responsibility; it creates the conditions for growth and change. Accountability remains, but it is held with understanding rather than judgement.

On the way home recently, I overheard someone apologising. The response caught my attention: “Don’t worry. I’m sure it wasn’t your conscious intention.” The comment lingered. It separated the action from the individual so quickly. It assumed something underneath.

January was about action - about readiness and the conditions that make movement possible. This month, I’ve found myself thinking more about what drives that movement… and what drives hesitation too.

Most mornings begin with intention. To handle things well. To move through the day in line with who we want to be. To attend to what needs attending to. It was certainly my intention that this musing would be ready by the middle of half term. Instead, it has taken a little longer to settle.

Some days, motivation aligns and things move forward steadily. Other days, something feels out of step. There are times when the mind is ready but the body feels tired, and times when there is physical energy but thinking becomes tangled in doubt or overanalysis. From the outside, that misalignment can look like procrastination or lack of focus. But if behaviour is a response - internally and externally - perhaps it is signalling fatigue, cognitive overload, competing demands, emotional strain, or simply the need for space before clarity returns.

When intention and motivation blur together, it becomes easy to collapse behaviour into identity - in others and in ourselves. When they are separated, empathy has room to enter. Responsibility remains. Action still matters. But it is shaped by compassion rather than shame.

“I’m sure it wasn’t your conscious intention.”

Perhaps that sentence lingers because it holds two things at once - accountability and understanding. It assumes something underneath the behaviour.

And maybe that is where growth begins.